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Sunday, July 3, 2011

Please critique


I'm posting this in the New Worlds challenge on CGHub, and I'd like some criticism. I'm not happy with the composition, it looks like I just threw that space ship in there as an afterthought.
Edit: I'll update it later, but I've been moving and rotating the ship and failing to place it, so I might just shrink it down and throw if far in the background.

I hope someone else enters the challenge too, just me and one other guy...

4 comments:

isaak said...

Perhaps add more space ships, but have them moving in orderly fashion and push them to the background... kind of like Star Wars did for this shot.

http://www.infernodevelopment.com/Article_futurecity/star-wars_future_city.jpg

You can use the leading lines to help direct the eye flow of the composition without distracting from the carnival.

Keith VanZant said...

Looking good man. Maybe try and work out some of the shapes in the foreground so it's easier to see what is going on. It's all still a bit to blurry/loose. You can add some quick color to it too by messing with some adjustments. Might make it look more like a carnival with lots of colored lights. I like the ship it breaks up the negative space of the sky.

scomac said...

Very good start. Everything seems to have the same visual weight or emphasis, maybe make the Ferris wheel huge, by that I mean HUGE, it's intergalactic right? be extreme. You almost always have to have more than one ship just to give them scale and distance, MORE COLOR! It's a carnival! The tallest building has some perspective issues (lights/windows) be a little more clear on the building faces and edges and I think it will improve dramatically. Hope this helps and good luck.

Danny said...

Very nice work, man! Good job indicating and thinking out the story.

I agree with Scott, the reason you're fighting the composition is because there is no focal point! In a large/complex scene like this especially, you need an anchor to draw and hold the viewer, everything else is secondary.

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